September 16, 2011

Gender bender...

This giant sign has been the bane of my existence these days.  Thing one gets very perplexed now when we have to use public restrooms.  He looks at the sign in which we are entering and exclaims "BUT I'M NOT A GIRL!!".  *SIGH*  Each and every single time, same conversation. 

This new behavior and observation has come to be since he started preschool.  He is now very aware of his gender. "I am a boy momma."  I hear this over and over every time I try to inch him into the "girl" restroom.  The whole time he is pulling towards the "boy" bathroom that is inches away.  This scenario could make anyone chuckle, but to me it is the reminder that I am a single mother raising a son. It's also a reminder that there are occasions in which I have to sit and explain to Thing One that:
  1. He cannot do some things, because mom is not capable of going into the male restroom with him, because well I am a girl. AND
  2. I don't have a male counterpart that could take him or do some of the things he desires to do. " You can't go by yourself son, you are 4!"
I don't even have a dad or brother to even say "you take him". Those moments I am aware of how important it is for him to have a good male example around.  He has Big Cheese during the week, but there are those moments when he is with Mami, Thing Two, and I that I wish I could let him in that "boy" restroom with someone trusted. 

So for now I just try my best to give him other options for restrooms.  Like the family restroom, or the Male/Female restroom above. I do a lot of speaking with him and try to get him to understand that for now, when he is with Mommy he is stuck in a female world.  But this will only last for so long.  I am trying my best to get some positive male role models in his and my life.  I am lucky to have friends with husbands who are willing to help and that is a sigh of relief at times. 

Thing One does a bring a smile to my face when he exclaims "You're not a girl! You're a Mommy"

My take away from all this is :  Don't let the limitations hinder you, learn from them. 

Believe me I'M TRYING. *sigh*

September 9, 2011

Frozen in Time... September 11, 2001

10 years go by so quickly, yet they stand still in many instances.  Like the moment I stood in front of a television frozen. Frozen by the image of a plane slamming into the Twin Towers and thinking, could this really be happening?  I was 30 years old, going through a divorce already and childless.  I remember that moment, when hot tears could not come out of my eyes because I could not process what I was watching and feeling.  It took a whole week before I could cry and release it all.  I was one of many who felt overwhelmed and questioned what life had ahead of them and for this country. 
I sit here ten years later at the age of 40, finding my way into a new relationship and a mother of two loving busy children, and yet I still cry and I remember.  I remember what was lost, innocence, fathers, mothers, uncles, spouses, children, security, dreams, hopes.  I also rejoice in what 10 years has brought some of us.  It brought, resilience, new hope, new dreams, rekindled dreams, strength, neighbors, new families, new borders, new safety policies.  We have all come far. 
10 years…Never forget that day, but honor it as a positive memory.  Remember those survivors who dusted themselves off and progressed forward despite everything that happened that day.  Honor those lost by finishing their work and making this a better kinder place. 
My children will know that they are here because of that day.  I rekindled my dream of having children someday and reaching that degree.  Done! And DONE!  Let’s see what the next ten years will bring.   
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